Note: 
We have had requests to continue this blog to keep friends and relatives updated with our activities and whereabouts (and opinions). So here goes....

A YEAR IN RETROSPECT

After leaving Kenya and traveling in Europe for 3 weeks, our family landed on US soil on November 4, 2012. 

We were gone for 2 1/2 years and were quite impressed with the American roads! They were wide and smooth. Wow!  It almost seemed like wasted space. There were no goats or cows, or bikes or people walking and we drove much too fast. There was lots of firewood to be gathered but no one around to gather it....

With eyes wide open, we arrived at our home along South Weavertown Road. Do we really have this many buildings?  We could fit at least 7 or 8 Kenyan families on this property. Everything looked so big and cluttered. Why do we have so much stuff???? But how good it felt just to be home again....how good it felt to just rest.

Good old Princess, our white German Shepherd, remembered us. She wiggled with glee and kept rolling on the grass after we exited the van. The next morning I stepped outside the door for our customary walk to get the newspaper at the end of the lane. She was eagerly awaiting and then I knew that she really DID remember. We have had her for 9 years and we raised a total of 64 pups from her (that's a lot of babies). We kept the youngest one, another female named Sheba. Princess funded most of David's adoption which makes her rather special.

Dwight holding his youngest son, Isaac. Our son David, Dad and brother Roger looking on.

We were home long enough to unpack our luggage and put things halfway into place. A few days before Thanksgiving, we left for Missouri/ Nebraska to see the Bender family. I was quite eager to see brother Dwight, who was recovering from injuries due to a truck accident. He had broken his neck and for 3 weeks we didn't know whether he would live or die. His heart rate had flatlined 5 times.  Dwight had just turned 40 and he and Rachel were expecting their 6th child. At this point Dwight was paralyzed from the waist on down with limited movement in his arms and hands.

It was so good being with family again after not seeing most of them for 2 1/2 years. Marcus and Janet from Idaho didn't make it, neither did Martins still in Kenya.

From Missouri, we traveled to Auburn, Nebraska, the new outreach home my parents had moved to. This was new turf and we had never been there before. I loved the big blue sky and wide open spaces. But traveling comes to an end and it was time to head for our PA home and settle down.

The adjustment back from the mission field has been difficult; much more than we expected.  We had orientation to prepare us for life in Kenya, but how we floundered trying to adjust back to life in America! Did our view change so drastically? Life in a third world country was so simple; food, clothing, and shelter were the basic needs and things were either good or bad, black or white. Even though they are poor, the Kenyans are in general a happy, more relational people.  Returning home, we discover technology escalating rapidly, too many activities, too much money and so much obesity. People are so involved in electronics and hardly have time to speak to each other. There are so many gray areas and we want to live in THIS environment? It made us feel like taking our family back to Kenya where it's safe......

After a couple months, I felt myself going down and many of you know I went through a depression....being a positive person by nature, it was quite an unexpected experience. I was concerned about preparing the family for our re-entry not thinking much about myself. I also discovered that if Mom is out of commission, most things come to a grinding halt. For what it's worth, let me tell you a little about it.

 I felt tired and burned-out but couldn't sleep. My eyelids were heavy but it seemed the brain wouldn't shut down. I couldn't handle crowds and didn't want to go anywhere. I wasn't driving because I couldn't remember which side of the road to drive on. (In Kenyan we drove on the left side.) Once or twice a day, I took walks in the orchard with tears streaming down my face. The dog always went with me and seemed to be the only one who understood. What was wrong? This just isn't like Mom who usually has everything together. My family was getting alarmed, especially Sam and Daniel who wanted to fix the problem.....and I didn't care less.....

After 2 months of this and no improvement, Sam finally dragged me to the medical doctor, tears and all. The doctor took one look at me and said, "YOU are depressed!" He prescribed antidepressant and told me not to feel bad about it. People take medicine for high blood pressure and other things. This time I just happen to have 'pneumonia of the brain'. A few days later, Sam took me to the Atlas chiropractor. At least the medication had me dried up till then.

Dr. Keaton Amin, a chiropractor 'specialist',  has 18 years of experience.

Since a child, I had constant neck and shoulder issues. This also reached into the right lower back area. Having lived in numerous states, I went through a long line of 'neck-crunching' chiropractors.  They would treat the symptoms but never seemed to be able to get to the source of the problem. More recently, the rough, 'pot-holed' Kenyan roads had really irritated my neck/shoulders and I lived with a constant dull headache.

A family friend directed us to Dr. Keaton Amin. Dr. Amin soon discovered an atlas misalignment in the neck area. This caused the entire spine to be put into a curve or twist. With his skill and expertise, he soon had this problem corrected. It took some time for the correction to stay in it's place, but now year later,  I feel better structurally than I have in 20 years. The physical also affects the emotional and the spiritual, so maybe the latter half of my life will be better than the first. :)

If this sounds like you, please consider Dr. Keaton Amin. His office is located:  223 Hartman Bridge Road

Route 896

Ronks, PA 17572

717-687-0809

For those of you out of the area, google Atlas Orthogonal and see if you can find one close to you.

For an emotional healing project, son Daniel-18, built this grape arbor in our little back yard garden. I poured a lot of energy into planting flowers and early vegetables and called it our "Prayer Garden".  The girls also had a lot of fun with this.

The mailbox was another project in sore need of repair. I followed the urge to be creative and painted apples on it. After all it seemed appropriate for orchard living.

Since we lived several miles from the equator in Kenya, we experienced very little wind. Springtime in PA proved to be a little frustrating. One extra windy day, Miriam decided to really pin down this fluttering bed sheet. It worked!

In retrospect, life looks a little different now, but we will never quite be the same. We are finding our niche in life in America, but some things will remain a bit disturbing! It doesn't seem right that most of the world is starving and dying without hearing about Jesus. It doesn't seem right that we have the resources and the people to go share the gospel, but here we sit more interested in making money and being educated. We see Christians becoming lukewarm and lethargic and more interested in following styles and fashions. SHOULD this feel right?  Will God judge us for this?

I also discovered depression, except for clinical, is largely caused by anger. A counselor friend encouraged me to go to a little coffee shop (Panera Bread) weekly and 'write out' my feelings. I did discover a lot of anger. Anger I didn't know was there. I was told to categorize the different points and then deal with them individually. I learned some sharp lessons. Dealing with anger is indeed humiliating.....sigh....oh well.....eating humble pie never did kill anyone.

More positive input later-

Mattie Kauffman 

UNUSUAL FAMILY REUNION

October 16-17, 2011

Maybe this is the closing chapter to the adoption story and an answer to some of our questions. Who knows what all will come later but for now we are satisfied. Only God knows the rest of the story. I will write this because many of you would like to know and also have questions. For David’s sake, please refrain from talking to him too much about his family. He would like to be a normal boy and its gets a little annoying to him when people ask what he thinks about meeting his family. It also isn’t good for any child to have too much attention. This visit to his family was a blessing but also a little confusing to someone so young.

Before we went to Kenya we felt led to do a birth search on David’s family. Three years prior to this we had gotten information online of a Gene Sagin in Ukraine who did this kind of work. His name and email address was written on a sticky note and was hanging on the sewing room wall. Three years later, we had no idea if this was current. We decided to try it and sent an email stating who we were and what we wanted. In ONE hour, we had a response. We sent Mr. Sagin the required documents and in 10 days we had the information we wanted including photos of the family. They were easily found! WOW! There was no doubt this was David’s biological family. He resembled them so much. There was a father( Stepan) and a mother (Eliza) and five other children. We had been told he was an only child born to a single mother. (Somehow I always knew this wasn’t right.) David was born third in the family. His parents were very happy to know whatever had became of their son. When David saw the family picture he told me he thinks that’s the lady that would come to visit him. I rather passed it off because at the court we were told that his mother didn’t want him and never came to visit. The family lives in a gypsy like village in the Carparthian Mountains in western Ukraine. We had questions about who they are and about the whole process. We contacted Wayne and Connie Hursh, missionaries in Ukraine, and they sent David’s family some pictures and some literature; a Bible, a 101 Bible story book, etc. Wayne and Connie can both speak Russian quite well and did translating for us.

We as a family spent two years and four months in Kenya. It was not an easy work but very fulfilling. We will never regret it. During this time Connie did contact us a few times when she heard from Eliza. A time or two we responded with letters and pictures. Waynes even had the opportunity to meet the family when they were in the area doing CAM work. They were well received. This opened the door for us. About a year before we left Kenya, we decided maybe this would be a good time to visit Ukraine as a family. After thinking and praying about it for some time, we decided we could even visit David’s family. This idea grew into touring Berlin, Germany where Sam spent two years in IW service and even some Swiss Anabaptists sites.

We contacted Wayne and Connie and they in turn contacted David’s family to let them know we are coming. David was very excited about it. We were as well although with some trepidation. What will we encounter? When we arrived at Wayne’s on Sunday night, October 15, 2011, Eliza called and wondered if the visitors were there with the young one. Connie told her he is not so young and that he is 11 years old.

The drive to Svalyava took 11 hours. Wayne and Connie with the 2 oldest and the 2 youngest went with us. We felt so privileged to have them with us and to interpret for us. We felt so much more comfortable with them rather than our facilitator and thought the family would be more free to share with us. We arrived about 5:00 in the evening.

We found the place after driving around in the crowded, cluttered village for a little bit. Some homes were nicely built and well taken care of. Others were shacks with trashy surroundings. We asked various people walking the streets where Stepan and Eliza lived. No one seemed to know. Finally a young man married to a cousin led us to the home behind another house. By now the van with its foreign occupants was drawing a crowd.

 David’s mother came walking to meet us amidst this muddle. She was very composed and gave David a hug and asked him if he remembers her. Confused, he shook his head. The curious crowd kept looking at David and making comments. Connie interpreted and said they are saying he looks like his father. We walked into the house with a group of about 12-15 relatives. Eliza was there with 5 of the children including two new little sisters, Alena, 14 months and Albina, two months. We made small talk and were introduced to the family members. David’s father and two brothers were missing since they were still coming home from work. Since Igor, our facilitator, would be with us in the morning, we wanted to discuss the more touchy issues this evening. But it was getting dark and Wayne was waiting in the van. I finally asked Eliza if we can ask some questions. She said she would tell us later. The cousin’s husband caught on and shooed everyone out of the house. Now it was quiet and more private.

 

 David meeting his two little sisters with little brother, Tolik-3, looking on.

 Eliza told us her story:

David was born when they were in the process of building a new house. This could take years. The doctor suggested they keep the baby in the local orphanage until they were settled into their new home. Then they could go and get him. This is what they did. When they went to get back their baby boy they discovered they had to have money and documents to prove they had a home that met certain credentials. They started working on collecting funds and the required documents. Eliza kept visiting her son approximately once a month. Time moved on and so did the process. When David turned four, he was transferred an hour and half away to a private boarding school in Vinogradov. Eliza said she still went to visit David on a regular basis. (During the course of this conversation, David was beginning to realize this IS the lady that would come to visit him. He just didn’t know that she was his mother.) The family continued gathering funds and working on documents. One day, they discovered their son was GONE; he was adopted by an American family. Ugh! That was us! Eliza said she worried so much about her son.( Our facilitator had told us there was alot of propaganda around about foreigners adopting children and harvesting their organs. No wonder she was worried!) Where was he and what situation is he in? Is he yet alive? For 1 year she wondered until she heard from us through Gene Sagin. She said her heart jumped she was so happy! When she saw her son was in a family setting, she had peace. She told us she thought she would never see him again. But now, she is soo grateful to be able to again see him and to even meet his entire family.

Now we know that 4 years ago during the ten day wait after the court date, the parents were never contacted like we were told. This law is there to give the parent/parents a chance to change their minds. We were suspicious this never had happened and that those ten days were a total waste. How much Igor knew and the orphanage director we may never know. Before we went to meet David, Igor also had to travel to Svalyava to arrange the termination of the mother’s right. This also seemed odd. This needs to be done before the child is even qualified to be registered. How David got to be registered (available for adoption) without termination rights is still a question. Amidst all this, we marvel how God works out His plan in spite of the corruption of men.

David with his two mothers. Eliza is only 31 years old.

I then told her a little of our story:

Three years prior to the adoption, God pressed on my heart that we need to rescue some mother’s son. We struggled with this for three years. Why us? My husband is older and we have our own five children. Why Ukraine? I would continue to ask God and one day He said (like a loud thought) Why NOT you? The boy is not Ukrainian but he lives there. This thought stayed in the back of my mind and I wanted to ask them what nationality they are if there was a chance. I don’t know why this seemed important. I told Eliza we had never planned to adopt a child but God asked us to so we did. We don’t know why but just know God has a purpose in all this. Eliza agreed. Some of the relatives thought maybe David could stay there with his family. The cousin’s husband changed the course of this conversation by saying David needs to stay in America with his family and get an education. Maybe some day he can come back and help them or they can help him. Eliza’s mother heart wanted her son to stay with them but also knew we could provide for him better than they could. It was getting dark and we left promising them we would be back in the morning to meet father and the two missing brothers.

The next morning, Igor, our adoption facilitator, came in on the overnight train. We had asked him to meet us there so Waynes could be free to return home. Igor would travel with us to Vinogradov and we could see the orphanage, the director and his friends.

This time Igor went along to visit the family. Waynes were still with us to help be in charge of the meeting. This time father was there but not the 16 year old brother. His boss would NOT let him off work. Stepan was very cordial and you could tell who David resembles most. He is quite energetic and eager to please. He went around giving everyone a hug. David has his father’s hair, especially his bed hair, and his gray eyes. Stepan has the personality of a man in charge and seems to be a good provider. We were a little uncomfortable having Igor there but went on with the conversation. Soon there was an argumentive outbreak between Igor and Stepan about David’s adoption and the legal and illegal process. After awhile they went outside. Stepan was soon back inside. We took family pictures and had a good visit. They are sad David can’t live with them but bless him where he is. They apologized to him about what happened. Please don’t be angry with us, they kept saying. David just smiled and shrugged. We did find out that they are of Hungarian descent. David is little disgusted that he is not Ukrainian.

Stepan, David’s biological father, is 37 years old.

David’s brother, Vladik, is just one year younger. He is about the same size as David and wanted to go with him. He cried when we left.

David -11 and his brother, Vladik- 10

We had a good time visiting the orphanage and meeting some of the caretakers. We were disappointed that David’s group had aged out and were no long there. Four years ago, the count of orphans was 150; today there are only 66. They really don’t know why or if it’s bad or good. We also did not get to meet the director that day since she was sick.

Meeting his family was little traumatic for David. We are just glad his past is not a horror story; just an unfortunate one. At least humanly, it seems that way, but we can’t see the whole picture. We are praying this meeting will be a good thing in the long run. Even though he is young, David knows who he is and where his family is. Hopefully he can cope with this identity throughout his growing up years. He loves the story of Joseph and knows that God has a purpose for his life as well. Someday, like Joseph, he wants to be a missionary to his own people. Meanwhile as David’s American parents, we’ll try to teach him all we can about God and the Bible. The rest we’ll leave in the hands of the Lord.

Sam and Mattie Kauffman family