October 16-17, 2011
Maybe this is the closing chapter to the adoption story and an answer to some of our questions. Who knows what all will come later but for now we are satisfied. Only God knows the rest of the story. I will write this because many of you would like to know and also have questions. For David’s sake, please refrain from talking to him too much about his family. He would like to be a normal boy and its gets a little annoying to him when people ask what he thinks about meeting his family. It also isn’t good for any child to have too much attention. This visit to his family was a blessing but also a little confusing to someone so young.
Before we went to Kenya we felt led to do a birth search on David’s family. Three years prior to this we had gotten information online of a Gene Sagin in Ukraine who did this kind of work. His name and email address was written on a sticky note and was hanging on the sewing room wall. Three years later, we had no idea if this was current. We decided to try it and sent an email stating who we were and what we wanted. In ONE hour, we had a response. We sent Mr. Sagin the required documents and in 10 days we had the information we wanted including photos of the family. They were easily found! WOW! There was no doubt this was David’s biological family. He resembled them so much. There was a father( Stepan) and a mother (Eliza) and five other children. We had been told he was an only child born to a single mother. (Somehow I always knew this wasn’t right.) David was born third in the family. His parents were very happy to know whatever had became of their son. When David saw the family picture he told me he thinks that’s the lady that would come to visit him. I rather passed it off because at the court we were told that his mother didn’t want him and never came to visit. The family lives in a gypsy like village in the Carparthian Mountains in western Ukraine. We had questions about who they are and about the whole process. We contacted Wayne and Connie Hursh, missionaries in Ukraine, and they sent David’s family some pictures and some literature; a Bible, a 101 Bible story book, etc. Wayne and Connie can both speak Russian quite well and did translating for us.
We as a family spent two years and four months in Kenya. It was not an easy work but very fulfilling. We will never regret it. During this time Connie did contact us a few times when she heard from Eliza. A time or two we responded with letters and pictures. Waynes even had the opportunity to meet the family when they were in the area doing CAM work. They were well received. This opened the door for us. About a year before we left Kenya, we decided maybe this would be a good time to visit Ukraine as a family. After thinking and praying about it for some time, we decided we could even visit David’s family. This idea grew into touring Berlin, Germany where Sam spent two years in IW service and even some Swiss Anabaptists sites.
We contacted Wayne and Connie and they in turn contacted David’s family to let them know we are coming. David was very excited about it. We were as well although with some trepidation. What will we encounter? When we arrived at Wayne’s on Sunday night, October 15, 2011, Eliza called and wondered if the visitors were there with the young one. Connie told her he is not so young and that he is 11 years old.
The drive to Svalyava took 11 hours. Wayne and Connie with the 2 oldest and the 2 youngest went with us. We felt so privileged to have them with us and to interpret for us. We felt so much more comfortable with them rather than our facilitator and thought the family would be more free to share with us. We arrived about 5:00 in the evening.
We found the place after driving around in the crowded, cluttered village for a little bit. Some homes were nicely built and well taken care of. Others were shacks with trashy surroundings. We asked various people walking the streets where Stepan and Eliza lived. No one seemed to know. Finally a young man married to a cousin led us to the home behind another house. By now the van with its foreign occupants was drawing a crowd.
David’s mother came walking to meet us amidst this muddle. She was very composed and gave David a hug and asked him if he remembers her. Confused, he shook his head. The curious crowd kept looking at David and making comments. Connie interpreted and said they are saying he looks like his father. We walked into the house with a group of about 12-15 relatives. Eliza was there with 5 of the children including two new little sisters, Alena, 14 months and Albina, two months. We made small talk and were introduced to the family members. David’s father and two brothers were missing since they were still coming home from work. Since Igor, our facilitator, would be with us in the morning, we wanted to discuss the more touchy issues this evening. But it was getting dark and Wayne was waiting in the van. I finally asked Eliza if we can ask some questions. She said she would tell us later. The cousin’s husband caught on and shooed everyone out of the house. Now it was quiet and more private.
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David meeting his two little sisters with little brother, Tolik-3, looking on.
Eliza told us her story:
David was born when they were in the process of building a new house. This could take years. The doctor suggested they keep the baby in the local orphanage until they were settled into their new home. Then they could go and get him. This is what they did. When they went to get back their baby boy they discovered they had to have money and documents to prove they had a home that met certain credentials. They started working on collecting funds and the required documents. Eliza kept visiting her son approximately once a month. Time moved on and so did the process. When David turned four, he was transferred an hour and half away to a private boarding school in Vinogradov. Eliza said she still went to visit David on a regular basis. (During the course of this conversation, David was beginning to realize this IS the lady that would come to visit him. He just didn’t know that she was his mother.) The family continued gathering funds and working on documents. One day, they discovered their son was GONE; he was adopted by an American family. Ugh! That was us! Eliza said she worried so much about her son.( Our facilitator had told us there was alot of propaganda around about foreigners adopting children and harvesting their organs. No wonder she was worried!) Where was he and what situation is he in? Is he yet alive? For 1 year she wondered until she heard from us through Gene Sagin. She said her heart jumped she was so happy! When she saw her son was in a family setting, she had peace. She told us she thought she would never see him again. But now, she is soo grateful to be able to again see him and to even meet his entire family.
Now we know that 4 years ago during the ten day wait after the court date, the parents were never contacted like we were told. This law is there to give the parent/parents a chance to change their minds. We were suspicious this never had happened and that those ten days were a total waste. How much Igor knew and the orphanage director we may never know. Before we went to meet David, Igor also had to travel to Svalyava to arrange the termination of the mother’s right. This also seemed odd. This needs to be done before the child is even qualified to be registered. How David got to be registered (available for adoption) without termination rights is still a question. Amidst all this, we marvel how God works out His plan in spite of the corruption of men.
David with his two mothers. Eliza is only 31 years old.
I then told her a little of our story:
Three years prior to the adoption, God pressed on my heart that we need to rescue some mother’s son. We struggled with this for three years. Why us? My husband is older and we have our own five children. Why Ukraine? I would continue to ask God and one day He said (like a loud thought) Why NOT you? The boy is not Ukrainian but he lives there. This thought stayed in the back of my mind and I wanted to ask them what nationality they are if there was a chance. I don’t know why this seemed important. I told Eliza we had never planned to adopt a child but God asked us to so we did. We don’t know why but just know God has a purpose in all this. Eliza agreed. Some of the relatives thought maybe David could stay there with his family. The cousin’s husband changed the course of this conversation by saying David needs to stay in America with his family and get an education. Maybe some day he can come back and help them or they can help him. Eliza’s mother heart wanted her son to stay with them but also knew we could provide for him better than they could. It was getting dark and we left promising them we would be back in the morning to meet father and the two missing brothers.
The next morning, Igor, our adoption facilitator, came in on the overnight train. We had asked him to meet us there so Waynes could be free to return home. Igor would travel with us to Vinogradov and we could see the orphanage, the director and his friends.
This time Igor went along to visit the family. Waynes were still with us to help be in charge of the meeting. This time father was there but not the 16 year old brother. His boss would NOT let him off work. Stepan was very cordial and you could tell who David resembles most. He is quite energetic and eager to please. He went around giving everyone a hug. David has his father’s hair, especially his bed hair, and his gray eyes. Stepan has the personality of a man in charge and seems to be a good provider. We were a little uncomfortable having Igor there but went on with the conversation. Soon there was an argumentive outbreak between Igor and Stepan about David’s adoption and the legal and illegal process. After awhile they went outside. Stepan was soon back inside. We took family pictures and had a good visit. They are sad David can’t live with them but bless him where he is. They apologized to him about what happened. Please don’t be angry with us, they kept saying. David just smiled and shrugged. We did find out that they are of Hungarian descent. David is little disgusted that he is not Ukrainian.
Stepan, David’s biological father, is 37 years old.
David’s brother, Vladik, is just one year younger. He is about the same size as David and wanted to go with him. He cried when we left.
David -11 and his brother, Vladik- 10
We had a good time visiting the orphanage and meeting some of the caretakers. We were disappointed that David’s group had aged out and were no long there. Four years ago, the count of orphans was 150; today there are only 66. They really don’t know why or if it’s bad or good. We also did not get to meet the director that day since she was sick.
Meeting his family was little traumatic for David. We are just glad his past is not a horror story; just an unfortunate one. At least humanly, it seems that way, but we can’t see the whole picture. We are praying this meeting will be a good thing in the long run. Even though he is young, David knows who he is and where his family is. Hopefully he can cope with this identity throughout his growing up years. He loves the story of Joseph and knows that God has a purpose for his life as well. Someday, like Joseph, he wants to be a missionary to his own people. Meanwhile as David’s American parents, we’ll try to teach him all we can about God and the Bible. The rest we’ll leave in the hands of the Lord.
Sam and Mattie Kauffman family
Maybe this is the closing chapter to the adoption story and an answer to some of our questions. Who knows what all will come later but for now we are satisfied. Only God knows the rest of the story. I will write this because many of you would like to know and also have questions. For David’s sake, please refrain from talking to him too much about his family. He would like to be a normal boy and its gets a little annoying to him when people ask what he thinks about meeting his family. It also isn’t good for any child to have too much attention. This visit to his family was a blessing but also a little confusing to someone so young.
Before we went to Kenya we felt led to do a birth search on David’s family. Three years prior to this we had gotten information online of a Gene Sagin in Ukraine who did this kind of work. His name and email address was written on a sticky note and was hanging on the sewing room wall. Three years later, we had no idea if this was current. We decided to try it and sent an email stating who we were and what we wanted. In ONE hour, we had a response. We sent Mr. Sagin the required documents and in 10 days we had the information we wanted including photos of the family. They were easily found! WOW! There was no doubt this was David’s biological family. He resembled them so much. There was a father( Stepan) and a mother (Eliza) and five other children. We had been told he was an only child born to a single mother. (Somehow I always knew this wasn’t right.) David was born third in the family. His parents were very happy to know whatever had became of their son. When David saw the family picture he told me he thinks that’s the lady that would come to visit him. I rather passed it off because at the court we were told that his mother didn’t want him and never came to visit. The family lives in a gypsy like village in the Carparthian Mountains in western Ukraine. We had questions about who they are and about the whole process. We contacted Wayne and Connie Hursh, missionaries in Ukraine, and they sent David’s family some pictures and some literature; a Bible, a 101 Bible story book, etc. Wayne and Connie can both speak Russian quite well and did translating for us.
We as a family spent two years and four months in Kenya. It was not an easy work but very fulfilling. We will never regret it. During this time Connie did contact us a few times when she heard from Eliza. A time or two we responded with letters and pictures. Waynes even had the opportunity to meet the family when they were in the area doing CAM work. They were well received. This opened the door for us. About a year before we left Kenya, we decided maybe this would be a good time to visit Ukraine as a family. After thinking and praying about it for some time, we decided we could even visit David’s family. This idea grew into touring Berlin, Germany where Sam spent two years in IW service and even some Swiss Anabaptists sites.
We contacted Wayne and Connie and they in turn contacted David’s family to let them know we are coming. David was very excited about it. We were as well although with some trepidation. What will we encounter? When we arrived at Wayne’s on Sunday night, October 15, 2011, Eliza called and wondered if the visitors were there with the young one. Connie told her he is not so young and that he is 11 years old.
The drive to Svalyava took 11 hours. Wayne and Connie with the 2 oldest and the 2 youngest went with us. We felt so privileged to have them with us and to interpret for us. We felt so much more comfortable with them rather than our facilitator and thought the family would be more free to share with us. We arrived about 5:00 in the evening.
We found the place after driving around in the crowded, cluttered village for a little bit. Some homes were nicely built and well taken care of. Others were shacks with trashy surroundings. We asked various people walking the streets where Stepan and Eliza lived. No one seemed to know. Finally a young man married to a cousin led us to the home behind another house. By now the van with its foreign occupants was drawing a crowd.
David’s mother came walking to meet us amidst this muddle. She was very composed and gave David a hug and asked him if he remembers her. Confused, he shook his head. The curious crowd kept looking at David and making comments. Connie interpreted and said they are saying he looks like his father. We walked into the house with a group of about 12-15 relatives. Eliza was there with 5 of the children including two new little sisters, Alena, 14 months and Albina, two months. We made small talk and were introduced to the family members. David’s father and two brothers were missing since they were still coming home from work. Since Igor, our facilitator, would be with us in the morning, we wanted to discuss the more touchy issues this evening. But it was getting dark and Wayne was waiting in the van. I finally asked Eliza if we can ask some questions. She said she would tell us later. The cousin’s husband caught on and shooed everyone out of the house. Now it was quiet and more private.
.JPG)
Eliza told us her story:
David was born when they were in the process of building a new house. This could take years. The doctor suggested they keep the baby in the local orphanage until they were settled into their new home. Then they could go and get him. This is what they did. When they went to get back their baby boy they discovered they had to have money and documents to prove they had a home that met certain credentials. They started working on collecting funds and the required documents. Eliza kept visiting her son approximately once a month. Time moved on and so did the process. When David turned four, he was transferred an hour and half away to a private boarding school in Vinogradov. Eliza said she still went to visit David on a regular basis. (During the course of this conversation, David was beginning to realize this IS the lady that would come to visit him. He just didn’t know that she was his mother.) The family continued gathering funds and working on documents. One day, they discovered their son was GONE; he was adopted by an American family. Ugh! That was us! Eliza said she worried so much about her son.( Our facilitator had told us there was alot of propaganda around about foreigners adopting children and harvesting their organs. No wonder she was worried!) Where was he and what situation is he in? Is he yet alive? For 1 year she wondered until she heard from us through Gene Sagin. She said her heart jumped she was so happy! When she saw her son was in a family setting, she had peace. She told us she thought she would never see him again. But now, she is soo grateful to be able to again see him and to even meet his entire family.
Now we know that 4 years ago during the ten day wait after the court date, the parents were never contacted like we were told. This law is there to give the parent/parents a chance to change their minds. We were suspicious this never had happened and that those ten days were a total waste. How much Igor knew and the orphanage director we may never know. Before we went to meet David, Igor also had to travel to Svalyava to arrange the termination of the mother’s right. This also seemed odd. This needs to be done before the child is even qualified to be registered. How David got to be registered (available for adoption) without termination rights is still a question. Amidst all this, we marvel how God works out His plan in spite of the corruption of men.
David with his two mothers. Eliza is only 31 years old.
I then told her a little of our story:
Three years prior to the adoption, God pressed on my heart that we need to rescue some mother’s son. We struggled with this for three years. Why us? My husband is older and we have our own five children. Why Ukraine? I would continue to ask God and one day He said (like a loud thought) Why NOT you? The boy is not Ukrainian but he lives there. This thought stayed in the back of my mind and I wanted to ask them what nationality they are if there was a chance. I don’t know why this seemed important. I told Eliza we had never planned to adopt a child but God asked us to so we did. We don’t know why but just know God has a purpose in all this. Eliza agreed. Some of the relatives thought maybe David could stay there with his family. The cousin’s husband changed the course of this conversation by saying David needs to stay in America with his family and get an education. Maybe some day he can come back and help them or they can help him. Eliza’s mother heart wanted her son to stay with them but also knew we could provide for him better than they could. It was getting dark and we left promising them we would be back in the morning to meet father and the two missing brothers.
The next morning, Igor, our adoption facilitator, came in on the overnight train. We had asked him to meet us there so Waynes could be free to return home. Igor would travel with us to Vinogradov and we could see the orphanage, the director and his friends.
This time Igor went along to visit the family. Waynes were still with us to help be in charge of the meeting. This time father was there but not the 16 year old brother. His boss would NOT let him off work. Stepan was very cordial and you could tell who David resembles most. He is quite energetic and eager to please. He went around giving everyone a hug. David has his father’s hair, especially his bed hair, and his gray eyes. Stepan has the personality of a man in charge and seems to be a good provider. We were a little uncomfortable having Igor there but went on with the conversation. Soon there was an argumentive outbreak between Igor and Stepan about David’s adoption and the legal and illegal process. After awhile they went outside. Stepan was soon back inside. We took family pictures and had a good visit. They are sad David can’t live with them but bless him where he is. They apologized to him about what happened. Please don’t be angry with us, they kept saying. David just smiled and shrugged. We did find out that they are of Hungarian descent. David is little disgusted that he is not Ukrainian.
Stepan, David’s biological father, is 37 years old.
David’s brother, Vladik, is just one year younger. He is about the same size as David and wanted to go with him. He cried when we left.
David -11 and his brother, Vladik- 10
We had a good time visiting the orphanage and meeting some of the caretakers. We were disappointed that David’s group had aged out and were no long there. Four years ago, the count of orphans was 150; today there are only 66. They really don’t know why or if it’s bad or good. We also did not get to meet the director that day since she was sick.
Meeting his family was little traumatic for David. We are just glad his past is not a horror story; just an unfortunate one. At least humanly, it seems that way, but we can’t see the whole picture. We are praying this meeting will be a good thing in the long run. Even though he is young, David knows who he is and where his family is. Hopefully he can cope with this identity throughout his growing up years. He loves the story of Joseph and knows that God has a purpose for his life as well. Someday, like Joseph, he wants to be a missionary to his own people. Meanwhile as David’s American parents, we’ll try to teach him all we can about God and the Bible. The rest we’ll leave in the hands of the Lord.
Sam and Mattie Kauffman family
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The "whys" are hard to understand of a family being separated like this. May God bless you as you guide David into being a blessing to his family there and here!!!
ReplyDeleteLove you all, Kathy
And God works ALL things together for good, sometimes getting to the 'good' part is difficult but it'll come, it'll come!
ReplyDelete